Muslim Life Hackers

Sofia: Striving for Ihsan and Decolonizing the Mind

• Mifrah M • Episode 13

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Join us in this episode as we welcome Sofia, host of the 'Women of Ihsan' podcast. In our conversation, we explore Sofia's insights on the meaning of Ihsan, the importance of striving for excellence in our faith, and how Muslims can transcend mediocrity in their spiritual lives. Sofia also shares her thoughts on decolonizing the mind, the impact of Western values on our Islamic worldview, and the significance of collective responsibility within the Muslim ummah. 

Timestamps:
01:31 Defining Ihsan and Its Importance
02:00 Striving for Excellence in Faith
03:31 The Concept of Ihsan in Daily Life
13:04 Decolonizing the Mind
15:25 Impact of Colonization on Muslim Identity
22:46 Challenges Faced by Muslims in the West
25:27 The System is Not Broken
25:43 Understanding a Colonized Mind 28:51 Personal Responsibility and Awakening
31:40 Role Models in Gaza

About Sofia:
Sofia, with over 15 years of experience as a translator and project manager, she decided to change her career path to become a Certified Professional Coach to serve the community.
She is passionate about helping high-achieving Muslim women design their ideal faith-centered lives so they can thrive in alignment with their Deen.
Sofia is a French Moroccan living in Germany with her husband and three children.

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🏖️ This episode is sponsored by Sisters Explore, a company I founded to offer guided small-group travel for Muslim women to connect, explore, and enjoy faith-centered journeys. Learn more at http://www.sisters-explore.com

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Asalamu Alaikum everyone and welcome to the Muslim Life Hackers podcast. I'm your host Mifrah Mahroof and in today's episode we're going to be having on Sofia from the Women of Ihsan podcast. So a bit about Sofia. Sofia has a background in translation and project management, spending 15 years in this space. She decided to change her career path and become a certified professional coach to serve the community. So she's passionate about helping high achieving Muslim women design their ideal faith centered lives so that they can thrive in alignment with their deen. she's a French Moroccan living in Germany with her husband and three children. So I hope you enjoy this episode and without further ado, let's get started.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Asalamu alaikum, Sofia. Welcome to the show.

Sofia A.:

Waalaykumu salam wa-raḥmatullahi wabarakatuh. Jazakallah khairan. Thank you for having me.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Well, thank you for coming on. One of the things that I'm familiar with you and about your work is that you're actually a host of this podcast called the Women of Ihsan. So you've actually been running that for how long?

Sofia A.:

So we a started the podcast when I say we, it's me and the guests.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm.

Sofia A.:

So I launched it at the end of December. I started a little bit earlier doing the recordings, but it's officially launched at the end of December 2023. Alhamdulillah. So it's been over six months now.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Oh, nice. It's always a pleasure to meet a fellow podcaster and actually put them in the side of a guest and, be able to learn more about them. So I'm excited to have you on. So the first question that really comes to mind is coming from your podcast itself. So you have that women of Ihsan. So how would you actually define the term Ihsan and what does that mean to you?

Sofia A.:

Oh my, so you are basically you're throwing my question at me now.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah, I'm really

Sofia A.:

there is no,

Mifrah Mahroof:

this word goes around a lot in like the Muslim space, the Islamic personal development, be a person of Ihsan. So what does that actually mean?

Sofia A.:

Yeah. Yeah. and you know what, this is one of the questions I ask my guests all the time. What

Mifrah Mahroof:

Oh, really? Okay.

Sofia A.:

to strive? Yes. What does it mean for you to strive and become a woman of Ihsan? So first of all, we are all striving. It's not, we are not saying, okay, the podcast is called women of Ihsan, but we're not, we are striving. We are trying to raise the bar here because I think one of our problem as a Muslim community in general, wherever we are in the world, we haven't raised the bar in terms of our deen. What I mean by that is we are happy with mediocrity when it comes to our deen. Because when you look at how much efforts we put in our careers, in having a nice home, having a nice family, getting our kids in the best schools, getting the best of this dunya, but when it comes to our worship, oh my God, I pray five times a day. Alhamdulillah that's it. Like you see what I mean? The bar is so low, we put it so low. Subhanallah, may Allah forgive us. And when I say that I speak for myself, like you come, at the end of the day, you drained and when you look back, well at least I prayed on time, Alhamdulillah, that's it? Is that it? who would be happy in a job, like imagine you're the manager, and your team, they're just doing the bare minimum. Like, they're just ticking the boxes. What kind of work environment is that? What kind of progress are you going to do? If you're just ticking the boxes, Oh, okay. Yeah, I came at eight. Okay. I'm here at eight. Oh, okay. I took my lunch and I had to do this. Okay. And nothing more, just the bare minimum. When are we going to exceed expectations here? So first of all, for me, Ihsan is putting Allah at the center, again, because He is anyway. It's just that we are not aware, but He is. So working on our mindset is really just, taking the time to reflect on your life because we don't know how much time we have left

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah, that's true.

Sofia A.:

when it's over, we go back to him. We are alone in our grave and we stand alone before him. So what is it that we are going to present? And so Ihsan is, there are different layers to that, different aspects, different dimensions to ihsan. So obviously it's about your behavior. Your behavior with people, like having good character, akhlaq, like the Prophet SAW. He's our role model for everything. Having good relationships with people, being an ambassador of Islam, behaving yourself in a good way that you are not, staining Islam with your bad words or your bad behavior, bad ethics, lacking of integrity and so on and so forth. Being generous, being good to your parents. This is all, what our beautiful deen teaches us. So Ihsan is definitely the part of that. all that you can see, but it's also, and I think it's even more important, everything we can't see. It's about purifying the heart. It's about Ihsan is really, about getting rid of everything that you don't want to find in your book when you stand before Allah SAW. And Allah, He knows your thoughts and He knows what's happening in your heart. Nobody else. So it's really, having all of these dimensions and it's not easy. That's why we are just striving, we are trying, but at least we know, okay, now I'm going to raise the bar here. I'm not just, okay, from the outside, I'm wearing my hijab, I ticked the boxes, I prayed five times, I fasted my Ramadan, and that's it. And then you have all of these diseases of the heart. You're jealous, you're envious, you're arrogant. You have like every time you do something good, you're like, wow, look what I did, maybe not out loud, but inside of yourself, you have this self admiration, which is a disease of the heart. So how you go about it, is learning your religion, like seek knowledge, knowledge. Just do not be content with the bare minimum. Try to go, like you do that for your job, like you do that for your studies, whatever you like, anything you own, like you want to have a nice car, you just, you're not going to have like this old, you know, a rusty car. You want something nice. The same with what's inside of yourself and your relationship with Allah SAW. Trying to upgrade that

Mifrah Mahroof:

yeah,

Sofia A.:

in a nutshell.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah. so would it be that you're constantly not happy with where you are and you just keep striving? Like you just keep improving yourself? is that how it would look like?

Sofia A.:

So I think we have to be very careful here

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm.

Sofia A.:

between not being happy with ourselves and falling into despair.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah.

Sofia A.:

Like, Ihsan is also getting back on your feet, when you fall or when you feel low and never give up and never fall into despair, because this is one of the trick of shaitan. And so not conflate perfection with excellence. We're never going to be perfect. If we are looking for perfection, we're never going to get it. We are going to burn out and then maybe just give up on everything and just, go back to our lowest standards.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah.

Sofia A.:

It's about finding this quote unquote balance where, you know, the one who can judge you is Allah SWT. And at the same time, he's also generous and compassionate he doesn't gain any fee in punishing you. So it's also being kind to yourself, like, you are trying your best and just having Allah in mind as much as possible is already being above average.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Right.

Sofia A.:

look at humanity as a whole, who thinks about Allah at all, like you have to be a believer first. So Alhamdulillah, we are already in the few, but then we want to be better, not just, okay, I think about Allah when I pray five times a day, and even then you're not focused. You're just, the rituals and you rush for your Salah and you get it done. We also trying to have this connection. And that's why Dhikr is so important. Like outside of Salah, trying to have this moment where you make dhikr, where you reflect upon creation, like just having this child, approach to life, being curious and being amazed, not being like, Oh yeah, yeah, the sky is blue. Yeah. Oh yeah, the sun is shining. Like, subhanAllah, like people who don't believe in God, they take this for granted. They don't see any miracle in that when everything is a miracle of that around us, everything is a sign. And so it's really like, when I say having this mind shift is look at Allah first. He's the creator of all of this. He put this on your path so you can have a look at it, and being grateful. So by being grateful for all of these blessings but we can never count our blessings and thinking I'm the beneficiary, like I'm the receiver of all of this, like this good feeling that you have. It should outweigh negative, maybe, the negative emotions you get when you think about all of your shortcomings. Because Allah, He didn't create us to be perfect. The angels, they're already obeying Him. But He created a human being who could make mistake and return to him and this is the best like we know from the tradition of the Prophet SAW That all of the children of Adam they are going to make mistakes but the best of them are those who return to Allah SWT who ask for forgiveness and they return to him. So what does it mean being aware? I am now aware. I make mistakes. My goal in life is not stop, like, obviously, I want you to make less mistakes. I don't want to come and do major sins, that's a given. But we are still going to fall, we will always have shortcomings.

Mifrah Mahroof:

hmm, that's

Sofia A.:

And then returning to Allah, returning and returning all the time. And as much as you do that, your relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala becomes stronger. And then this is what moves you forward Insha Allah

Mifrah Mahroof:

hmm. I see. So what I'm hearing is like, Ihsan is more like a verb. It's like a state of doing, being, striving. Whereas, sometimes like at least we kind of hold ourselves to, we might be like, I need to be perfect. And then when that perfection is not there, it's like, I can't do

Sofia A.:

It's never going to be perfect.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah.

Sofia A.:

a recipe for disaster.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah.

Sofia A.:

You're never going to be perfect. What? Yeah. Yeah. But also the perfection is with Allah SWT

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm. yeah, that's true. And I think it's like setting up that standard for ourselves makes it hard for us to progress because when we can like actually say, Hey, am I being conscious? Am I striving? Then it's a totally different mindset to like, have I made it? Cause like we were even speaking, outside of the show about the concept of making it or striving. And I guess it goes back to the

Sofia A.:

Yeah, because the thing is, what is so beautiful with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in His generosity, He rewards us for our efforts, not for the outcome. Any outcome, anything you set up to do, any project, anything, you don't even know, are you going to come to complete it? So either you complete it or not, whether it was what you expected or not, the efforts, your intentions, while you are working towards it, this is where you get your reward.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm. True. True.

Sofia A.:

And that's why,

Mifrah Mahroof:

a lot of pressure off us, right?

Sofia A.:

yeah, in the sense that, It's so different than what we have been used to,

Mifrah Mahroof:

100

Sofia A.:

cool. For instance, they don't look at all the kids, how long they stayed and learned the lessons, how much efforts it took them. Like some kids, they have it easier and we just get the good grades. They just look at the grades.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah

Sofia A.:

don't look at the poor kid who have been, maybe, the parents, they hired a tutor, they're spending hours and the poor kid is just overwhelmed with everything, but they are really striving and working, just look at the grade at the end, okay? It's not like that with Allah. He takes into consideration everything, like the efforts and the intention, who you did it for. And, along the way, if we got hurt as well, we get rewarded for that.

Mifrah Mahroof:

it's

Sofia A.:

so I always say we always win with Allah SWT. That's the

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah, true. It's interesting that you brought up the point about at school, we always strive to get A plus. And I know that I've been a student that was always after A plus and all the high marks, high achiever kind of thing. And I know that's makes me, be very concerned about the result and to shift that thinking, to be that no, with Allah SWT, it's about the effort and it's about what you keep doing. Kind of opens up the leeway to one of the other questions that I also had as well about decolonizing the mind, actually. And this was something that It is quite interesting. It's something that we are all affected by, especially, myself and yourself, we grew up learning from these schools and we've been influenced by that and also influences the way we see the world, which can be also contrary to what our Islamic world view teaches us as well. So let's discuss more. What does it actually mean to decolonize your mind? what does that even mean, actually? Can you have a colonised

Sofia A.:

I think a series of podcasts just about that. So my best to it's

Mifrah Mahroof:

really

Sofia A.:

try

Mifrah Mahroof:

yeah, a

Sofia A.:

so important, especially in the context that we are in, with everything. That's what's been happening for nine months now. in Palestine, in Gaza. Anyone who had any doubt before about this western quote unquote values, which are not values because they have no value, by definition. So I don't know what is the word, which is the contrary like the opposite of value, because this would be the term that we should use here. The blatant hypocrisy, the double, triple standards that we see in the world. I can't get used to it. I know it is the way it is, but I just cannot get used. I cannot get over the fact that as we speak for nine months, a population of over 2 million people has been starved.

Mifrah Mahroof:

mm,

Sofia A.:

Let's just talk about the starving. Not even the bombing, the massacres, everything else. Just about the starving, cutting food and water for more than one million children, because half the population in Gaza are children. They are dying from starvation in front of our eyes, in front of like, live stream on our screens. How is it even possible to have that? When there is abundance of food, water, just a few meters away from the border, how is it even conceivable to the human mind that you are going to leave 2 million people starving to death after bombing their houses, after bombing them and everything for 9 months? So really, after being colonized in Muslim countries last century. They left the countries, but their influence is still there and decolonizing the mind is first being aware of that. What you have learned is not the truth with a capital T. What you have learned in school, in the history books, or like chosen by the state, the government, whatever it may be. These are not always historical facts that depicts the truth, the whole, because if you go and check history books, like written by authors, throughout the centuries, which are not taught in school, then you will see something very different.

Mifrah Mahroof:

of course,

Sofia A.:

Like just one example, like the crusades seen by the Arabs. It's very different than the crusades seen by the crusaders

Mifrah Mahroof:

mm.

Sofia A.:

children or grandchildren. So we need to really wake up and question our worldview, especially if we are Muslims, because we have just taken for granted everything that we have learned. And some of it is really the opposite of what our faith is teaching us.

Mifrah Mahroof:

How is it affecting us? this history, say we learnt it from this perspective, um,

Sofia A.:

It affecting us because their goal is to divide us.

Mifrah Mahroof:

mm,

Sofia A.:

They want to divide us. They don't want the ummah to be one. They don't want the Muslims to be under one banner. That's why they draw all of these lines. They made several, how do you call that, when you cut a pie,

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah, like, um,

Sofia A.:

so they, exactly. And then they gave you names, like now this is your country, this is the state that you need to give your allegiance to, and the neighboring country, even if actually these are your family, sometimes your people who were from the same region, but now there is, this line which has been drawn by these foreign powers. And now they want to divide. I'll just give one example, Algeria and Morocco. They have so many problems, like political, issues between them, but before this line was drawn by who, by back then it was their common enemy.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm.

Sofia A.:

They were one, and then one day they came and said, okay, between this village and this village, now there's going to be this line. This is going to be Morocco. This is going to be Algeria. You will have your government, and this happened all around, like in Bilad Sham, um, like everywhere in all the Muslim lands, let's say, I will not say country because now country has the borders that they drawn, so the Muslim lands and now someone who is born in Morocco or Algeria or Tunisia, Egypt, he says first, okay, I'm Moroccan. Oh, he's Algerian. What's the difference? We are actually, we are one. And anyone who comes to the faith and says, La ilaha illallah Muhammad rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam, he's your brother, she's your sister. Doesn't matter what passport she's carrying. And so it has affected us because now we have taken this mentality of being individualistic

Mifrah Mahroof:

They're not caring

Sofia A.:

because and not caring, yeah, the prophet taught us, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, the ummah is one body.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm.

Sofia A.:

And when part of the body is hurt, is aching, then the whole body has a fever and feeling like when you see the ummah now and people who literally, they don't care about what's happening as long as, I'm happy, I'm comfortable, My kids are all set, I have my nice house. I have my nice car whatever salary or whatever comes at the end of the month. I'm happy. I can go on holiday. Here and then I go to the masjid. They are going to do a fundraising I'm going to give some charity to feel better, to feel good about myself and that's it. Is it what Islam came for?

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm. So

Sofia A.:

I don't think so

Mifrah Mahroof:

believe, that is it.

Sofia A.:

Yeah, that's why, look at the opulence, it's really indecent now to look at the wealth that some of these Muslims, not to name any country, or government, and their brothers and sisters and their children are being starved to death. How is this even possible?

Mifrah Mahroof:

So I guess what I'm hearing is that the result of having a mind that is colonized is that you start to just see your relationship with Allah SWT as a very personal thing, you, your family, and not a collective responsibility, because if you do start thinking about a collective responsibility, then you'll start also thinking, what part am I playing? Like, how am I contributing to the ummah? Because you don't see yourself as a person of the ummah, you see yourself as a person of your country, your passport, which really affects your actions. Am I understanding it correctly?

Sofia A.:

Yeah, I'm going to give you another example and maybe some who are going to listen to that, they can relate, some they can't relate, but to some extent, it describes the situation. it might sound for some a bit extreme to give an example of the French Muslims, but there are a few millions as well. So Anyone who's listening to that, they will very much relate to that or anyone in Europe, actually, or even in the West. But in France, religion is something very private. You don't discuss religion. You don't talk about that. Even if you are Christian or whatever, it's not something you talk about in public, like politics, religion, something, or how much you earn is something you keep that to yourself. Okay.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm.

Sofia A.:

Muslims in France, they have to keep a low profile. That's why they are so like the politicians, they don't like the hijab because a woman who wears hijab, she's making a statement. She's showing her identity as a muslim. and they don't like that because they want to erase religion, religiosity and everything. So what you do, and some people, they are okay with that. This is what I'm saying. They are with that. As long as, I get home, I can pray, there are some masjids that are still open. Alhamdulillah, I can go there. I can buy my halal meat. That's fine. I'm doing my individual rituals and that's it. Alhamdulillah, I'm living my Islam. Without having this concern that Islam, you talk about Islam in the plural. Surah Al Fatiha is we is asking for us. Not asking for just me is guide us to the straight path. You are the one that we worship, Allah. It's not about I worship you and please guide me. No, it's a collective. but again, they divided us like, yeah. So we divided the populations, but we are also dividing the individuals from their concern for the greater community.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm,

Sofia A.:

and when you do that, you look at the ummah now, and this is the result that you get. After a century of not being one ummah, not having a khilafah, This is what you get. Everyone in their corner doing whatever they can consciously, or most of the time unconsciously, because it's like the people, again, to give an example, like Muslims who came to Europe or to the UK, United States, Australia, they were in surviving mode. They didn't go because they don't like their country of origin.

Mifrah Mahroof:

hmm.

Sofia A.:

They went because there was nothing to make a living, SubhanAllah, unfortunately. And so they went there and they thought, okay, I'm just going to adapt. Because a lot of them, they also had very limited knowledge, like they were not like scholars or students of knowledge who left and went there and started to work in the factories, be it in France or in the UK or wherever it may be, or in Germany, they went there and, okay, low profile, I'm just going to do whatever is needed for me to get my salary and then to feed my family and give my children a better future.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm.

Sofia A.:

Best case is they came with their Deen and they built Masajid. But that's not the case all the time.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah.

Sofia A.:

And that's why you find a lot of Muslims, unfortunately, they are just Muslim by name. They're going to celebrate Eid because who doesn't want to celebrate, you know? Most of them, Alhamdulillah, they are still fasting Ramadan, but some of them, they even went away from Ramadan.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm.

Sofia A.:

Women, if they feel like, okay, I can't have a job if I wear my hijab, Then there's no hijab, like in France.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah.

Sofia A.:

And what is left from your Islam?

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah.

Sofia A.:

You pray at the end of the day, because in these workplaces you can't even pray. So you come back home, and then after 5, 6pm, you pray all the prayers you didn't do, like you pray Duhur, Asr, Maghrib. In winter you even have to pray Isha.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm.

Sofia A.:

What is left? even if you wanted, you don't even have the capacity to think about, beyond yourself. Even if you want it because you're so drained.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah. And we look at that as it's normal, it's the normal way to live. We don't really see

Sofia A.:

Yeah. I I can't remember where, or from whom I heard that, but it's really modern slavery.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah.

Sofia A.:

know, keeping people to their 9 to 5 or whatever, or night shifts, or whatever it may be, like, keep them busy with how they're going to make enough money to get their bread, feed their kids, pay their rent, go on holiday, in this hamster wheel, and everybody's happy. And behind the scenes, they are doing whatever they want.

Mifrah Mahroof:

I've actually heard that as well. How like the system is designed exactly to extract the most and we're just left with just trying to make it every week

Sofia A.:

Yeah. I wrote a

Mifrah Mahroof:

working well for that.

Sofia A.:

Yeah, and, I wrote a quote the other day and I thought, my God, this is so true. Some people say, the system is broken. The system is not broken. It's not broken. It was designed this way.

Mifrah Mahroof:

And it's working exactly how it's designed.

Sofia A.:

Exactly.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah. And I think even that statement, the system is broken, is like having a colonized mind. Like this system is a perfect system. It's just broken because for something to be broken, it means that when it's not broken, it works perfectly. Right. Yeah. So I think it's very interesting. We have this kind of language, that's a statement I hear commonly as well. The system is broken. So it's like this whole mindset has really penetrated

Sofia A.:

by design.

Mifrah Mahroof:

by design.

Sofia A.:

broken by design.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah, but to say anything otherwise makes you feel like, oh, you're just being a conspiracy theorist. You know,

Sofia A.:

Yeah, it's unpolitically correct. It's um, yeah. SubhanAllah. yeah, SubhanAllah. May Allah grant us understanding.

Mifrah Mahroof:

and I think it's really important to have this discussion to actually, point to that. Because like you said, the first step of seeing if you have a colonized mind is to actually understand that it's a thing. And it's a reality and through understanding InshaAllah will come more awareness and then the actions to get out of that and go back to Allah SWT. Allah SWT asks of us and becoming a person of Ihsan really, like in our personal, in our collective, in the whole way Islam has been given to us.

Sofia A.:

Yeah. And one other thing,

Mifrah Mahroof:

we just touched the tip of the iceberg on this

Sofia A.:

yeah, but one other thing, I think it's really important and, I will talk for myself and then anyone, if it resonates, it's just me. Today, I can talk for myself and say that Allah SWT, He tells us in the Quran to come into the deen and take all of it completely. Like whatever it comes from Allah SWT and His Messenger, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, you need to, to say, Sami'na Wa Ata'na, we heard and we obey. We don't discuss anything, like anything which is clear cut. We have to take it. But what has happened is, first of all, we don't know what is our individual obligations? We don't know what you're supposed to do, we don't know what is expected from us, in the Deen, what Allah is expecting from us. And we are happy with living our whole life with whatever we picked up here and there. And what happens is we miss parts of what makes us Muslim. I don't know if that makes sense, but again, thinking beyond yourself. You're not just here to serve your own interests. Allah put human beings as Khilafah on earth. We are the representative of Allah on earth, i. e. we are supposed to be doing a good job here. Not only the good job, we should try to do the best we can

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm. to

Sofia A.:

preserve the earth for the next generations, but also protect any human being on this earth, not let happen everything that's been happening.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah.

Sofia A.:

you think, oh, okay, no, that's not my responsibility. I have no power whatsoever. Just, whatever the people in power, whatever they do, I will just follow.

Mifrah Mahroof:

the blame to the power, right?

Sofia A.:

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Not taking any responsibility. We all have.

Mifrah Mahroof:

like, I mean, right now the world is what it is. So

Sofia A.:

Again, I think,

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm.

Sofia A.:

first, waking up. It's already huge. Like just to wake up, and okay, forget the world. Are you doing your best to save yourself? That's the first thing you need to do. Like save yourself and your family from the fire.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm.

Sofia A.:

Allah said in the Quran.

Mifrah Mahroof:

So that would be the first step. Check if

Sofia A.:

First step, are you awake enough that your mission in life is to save yourself from the fire?

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah.

Sofia A.:

Like when you wake up in the morning, do you think maybe this is my last day? And again, I'm guilty of that as well. Is this my last day? If I die today, am I going to save myself from the fire? And what have I left for my family? Because they are also included in that. What I left to them, is it going to serve me as well? Is it going to serve as sadaqah jariah or maybe the opposite? May Allah protect us.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Mean?

Sofia A.:

So first, are you trying to save yourself? And when you do that, you learn like you seek knowledge. You go and listen to what Allah is telling you. In the Quran, the miracle that we have in our homes, the biggest blessings, one of the biggest blessings that we have after saying Lailahailallah is having the Quran. Are we taking advantage of this? Are we reading the Quran? Are we trying to understand what Allah is telling us in it? Are we learning the life of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam so that we can understand the Quran better because we can't understand the Quran without the Sunnah of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Like at an individual level, are we doing this? And then the natural consequence of that is I need to serve a higher purpose. It's not just about me.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah. So get yourself on that journey.'cause

Sofia A.:

Exactly.

Mifrah Mahroof:

as you keep showing up and you get yourself on that journey, Allah will guide you and show you the path in which you can come to that realisation on what you should be doing for the ummah that's special to you and your talents and what Allah's given you.

Sofia A.:

Exactly.

Mifrah Mahroof:

And that's a very

Sofia A.:

you don't have to figure it out, no one has figured everything out the first day, but you need to take that first step and, after the first step, then the next step is going to be clear, become evident for you and you'll take it and so on and so forth. And then you adjust.

Mifrah Mahroof:

true. Yeah, it's an ongoing journey. I guess it's coming back to what we started. It's like Ihsan is to strive. It's an ongoing journey. It's not like one day you wake up and it's like, Oh, I got it all figured out.

Sofia A.:

No, It's never going to be like that. And we pray that Allah takes us back when we are at our best. Ameen.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Ameen. Ameen

Sofia A.:

I feel like it's been a bit, a negative talk and so on, but really it's not, it's just, SubhanAllah, it's

Mifrah Mahroof:

a talk that needs to happen, especially considering the times that we're in right now.

Sofia A.:

yeah. Because it's so sad, SubhanAllah, it's heartbreaking. It's just a miracle in and of itself that our brothers and sisters in Gaza, they are just holding up. They are still alive, like they are still holding on to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. They are such role models for us. For anyone who's looking for a role model,

Mifrah Mahroof:

100

Sofia A.:

look at the people of Gaza.

Mifrah Mahroof:

percent and

Sofia A.:

like, from the youngest to the eldest, even the kids like the eloquence of the children like I've seen some children, SubhanAllah like how they talk like they are such an educated people. They are so connected to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala even now under the bombs and they have Halakat, they have Quran recitation competition under the tents, SubhanAllah, where are we? They have their Jumu'ah khutbah and prayers, in ruins.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm.

Sofia A.:

Where are we?

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah.

Sofia A.:

We can't even compare ourselves to them.

Mifrah Mahroof:

I think what's also scary for me actually is, as much as it is sad and heartbreaking to see what's happening, I feel what's scary is, what's Allah going to ask me? all these blessings I have, this whole, everything is easy, like I have safety, security, food, wealth, shelter, everything. And what is Allah going to ask me? I think that's what scares me the most. Out of what's

Sofia A.:

Yeah, well, he's going to ask us, what did you do with that?

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah. Yeah.

Sofia A.:

He's going to ask us, what did you do with that? You had this safety, you had this quote unquote freedom, you had food, you had comfortable life. What did you do with that?

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah Yeah

Sofia A.:

and look at the people of Gaza. How many people embraced Islam? Just looking at them, their resilience, their unshakable faith, SubhanAllah. Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, he told Ali, Sayyidina Ali Radiallahu Anhu. That if just one person, If you can guide just one person to Islam, this would be just such a huge blessing I'm just paraphrasing, but being the cause for someone to enter Islam is better than the whole world. And look at what they did, in their suffering in this big, big, big trial they are in as we are watching them, they have been able to get all of this reward for bringing people to Islam, either people who are completely out of Islam or even Muslims who woke up, Alhamdulillah, because there is an awakening. People are waking up because they are seeing the blatant hypocrisy, the lies, and everything that we've been told, it was just a lie. System is broken by design, etc, everything that we've been talking about. Alhamdulillah, and they see, okay, this faith, I want to have that.

Mifrah Mahroof:

yeah, yeah,

Sofia A.:

I want to return to Allah with this faith.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Alhamdulillah, lots to think about, lots to ponder. And, unfortunately we're getting close to the end of our episode. So I'm going to go straight to the questions that we ask all our guests. So the first one is, what would you say is one life hack that has improved your life?

Sofia A.:

I would say life hack, is not compare yourself with other people. We say that the comparison is the thief of joy, but it is even more true because, like for Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, He looks at us individually. He looks at me in this present moment and He looks at you in this present moment. He doesn't compare us. Again, example of school because we all been to school and we all know, okay, we compare our grades and you're better than me because there's no, like, we don't know who's better than us. In the sense that we can, at any given moment, we can become this better person. I don't know if that makes sense.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah,

Sofia A.:

in a given moment, when you feel close to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, this is yours. Nobody can take that from you. And anyone can have that, feeling close to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, getting to know him, And just having this feeling that I'm returning to Him, I'm returning to my Lord, and if He loves me, I'm safe for eternity. Having this, no one can, take this away from you. And whatever you try, it's work. Yes, whatever you have in your heart and your intentions, because it's only known to him. Even you yourself, sometimes you confuse, you don't know, was I really sincere? Was my intention just for Allah? He knows, you know? So and when I say comparing yourself, what do you mean not compare yourself? Allah also says we should compete one another, to do good deeds. And, SubhanAllah, when you think about it, what it means is, the only thing worth competing is good deeds. Like, we are competing for everything, for the dunya, which is not worth it. He said, okay, you want to compete? Well, compete for what? is worth and it is goodness for my sake, whatever you do. And obviously we need to clack. For instance, we also have examples of people, they were giving Sadaqah, even at the time of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam openly to invite and, encourage other people to give, and then your intention, may Allah protect us. It's very difficult. Sahaba, they did that, but they were the Sahaba, RadhiAllahu Anhum. And even today, sometimes you need to start an action. You want to raise money and you need to show, okay, we are doing this.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Alhamdulillah.

Sofia A.:

do that because otherwise nobody would never give something. But, it's really, you have this competition in the good deeds, but it doesn't mean that, oh, this person, they gave$100,000 they are better than me. It's not like that.

Mifrah Mahroof:

not to compare yourself. So use that as a means to, Hey, I want to do better and I wish I can be able to

Sofia A.:

Because the thing, yeah, but the thing is your potential is different. Like this person, they have a million in the bank. If they can give 100,000 good for them. I don't know, you only have 1, 000 and you gave 100, 000. Well, you actually gave more than the one who has, the million in the bank. and on top of that, you had the right intention, well, actually you are better than the person who's so rich and healthy, wealthy and so on, so because there are so many variables to these equations, and only Allah knows, then you realize at some point, why am I comparing myself like you like, for instance, am I going to compare Okay, let's do something completely silly. Okay, you have a podcast. I have a podcast. Am I going to compare now my podcast with your Podcast. When you have something to bring, which is completely different from what I have to bring, you have your own life experience. I have my life experience. What you're bringing, it offers a new perspective. I have a perspective. Is Allah going to judge us on the views? The likes.

Mifrah Mahroof:

no, no way.

Sofia A.:

no, no, you know. so Again, let's put Allah first.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm.

Sofia A.:

Okay, how?

Mifrah Mahroof:

not to compare and just put Allah SWT first.

Sofia A.:

Yeah,

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah.

Sofia A.:

and obviously you need to get this inspiration and oh, I wish, I could do things better and, but it doesn't mean that the person you are looking up to in this particular thing, it doesn't mean that they are better than you. This is what I want to convey here, the message. It doesn't mean that because, they might be, I don't know, maybe, successful business people. whatever. But then family life is chaotic problems, or even sickness, something you have no control over that. you don't see the struggles that they have. Maybe they are caring for all the parents, or maybe even themselves, you see them smiling and so on, but maybe if you have a disease and they are fighting with cancer or another disease like that, may Allah protect us, or they have a child who is sick, you never know, we really need to understand everybody's struggling. Everybody has the issues. And believe me when I say, you don't want to trade your life with anyone else's because you know what you've done. You don't know what they are carrying like this invisible burden

Mifrah Mahroof:

hmm.

Sofia A.:

and The the the burden that you are carrying it was chosen for you. Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala, He says he doesn't burden any soul with more than what they carry. It means that if I am here I'm not in Gaza, maybe because I'm not able to carry this burden that we are carrying

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm.

Sofia A.:

Does it mean that I'm never going to get to Jannah, to paradise?

Mifrah Mahroof:

Hmm.

Sofia A.:

That wouldn't be fair because I didn't choose where I'm going to be born. I didn't choose Where I'm going to be in this moment in time, So I have to do the best With what Allah has given me at any given time and if best, could like some days It's better than others and it's fine. We just need to at the end of the day You will return to Allah and we ask everything from him because everything is from him our health, our strength, even our faith, like saying La ilaha illallah, Muhammadur Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasalam, it's from him, it's a gift from him, it can be taken at any moment, so trying to be grateful. Not compare yourself. Stop comparing yourself. Do, like, stay in your lane. Stay focused on what you can do.

Mifrah Mahroof:

um,

Sofia A.:

Check yourself. Hold yourself accountable and do your best. And yeah, just stop trying comparing others and just feeling bad for yourself and, wasting time and energy on something which is not serving anyone. And the other thing I wanted to say as a life hack, because I really think it's really good, is having a bit counter. Yeah. or a Dhikr ring, to do your Dhikr because, it's just a great way to get you making more Dhikr. And you will realize that you can actually, yeah, I mean, you use one as well. And you know, like before you would think, Oh my God, how am I going to do whatever? I don't want you to say numbers. How are I going to do whatever number? But once you get it. And okay, you're driving, you go grocery shopping, or you go walking, you with your kid to the park, and you keep making this

Mifrah Mahroof:

yeah, that's, yeah, that

Sofia A.:

the end of the day, you look at it and you're like, wow, I didn't know I could do so many. Yeah, you can. And some people would argue, yeah, but you actually, you're not really there, you're a bit mindless. And what? And better being, keep your tongue moving with the remembrance of Allah than not.

Mifrah Mahroof:

actually think it creates mindlessness, actually, because on the days when I feel like I've used it a lot, I feel like I'm more focused and in the

Sofia A.:

Exactly, exactly, but that's the thing, it's a limiting belief to say, yeah, when I want to do my dhikr,

Mifrah Mahroof:

they need to try that.

Sofia A.:

exactly, exactly, because, like,

Mifrah Mahroof:

and see, how your day looks like.

Sofia A.:

yeah, but it's the thing, you think, oh, I have to be seated in a quiet place on my salat mat, and then, I take my matzbih or my finger, for the more rigorous, okay, I just count on my finger. I can't do that. Okay. After a hundred, I'm lost. So. maybe 200, 300 max, and then I'm lost, like, I need help.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Alhamdulillah,

Sofia A.:

only then I can do my dhikr, and then I sit there. But because you never get this, we are like, as mothers, we have kids running around, and when are you going to get one, half an hour, quiet, unless you have to do that in the morning, like, after fajr or before Fajr, when everybody's

Mifrah Mahroof:

you don't, you know, always have that circumstance that's perfect, right?

Sofia A.:

Exactly. Exactly. And then you're depriving yourself from that because you can do dhikr in any circumstances. Even if you feel like, okay, I I was saying that, but I wasn't there. Don't worry. It's going to have an effect. The more presence you are, the more effect you're going to have. But even if you are like, feel like a bit mindless, you're it's going to have an effect. Your tongue is going to have an effect on your mind, on your heart, and you will reap the benefit of that very soon, InshaAllah. So yeah.

Mifrah Mahroof:

okay, well, thanks. that's, some really good Life Hacks, no comparisons and to have a dhikr beat in your life, a dhikr counter actually. the last few questions that I have is, what's a book that has helped you level up in your life?

Sofia A.:

I can't think of a specific book that was really, you know, I mean, except for the Quran. what kind of answer is that? We all know we need to need the Quran. Yeah, but think about it. How often do you read the Quran and understand what you read? So I think, we need to give more attention to the Quran. because it's the one book you'll never, ever going to get bored. You're never going to know all of it. You will always get new insights. You will always feel better, it's just incredible. It's just a miracle. Um, but,

Mifrah Mahroof:

um, actually doing it, reciting the Quran with the meaning makes a difference too. Cause when you think Quran, it's just like sometimes the assumption is you just read it with that understanding and you just read, read, read, read, read.

Sofia A.:

Yeah. So, I can't think of another book right now, but I would say as well, and it's part of maybe the life hack is sometimes we don't really have time to sit again, sit with a book. It also requires the right environment and so on, but we can always listen. Like most of the time we can listen to something, so commuting or even being at home, doing your calls, cooking, whatever you can listen to something. Get into a habit of listening to Islamic lectures. Like, there's so many out there that you can listen to. And soon enough, you will retain some of this knowledge. And again, it's better than nothing. It's better than listening to something which is really not serving you, like there are good podcasts out there, but because, I just didn't prepare a list for that, obviously listen to, the Muslim Life Hackers podcast and listen to my podcast, the Women of Ihsan podcast, but get into the habit of listening to student of knowledge, advanced student of knowledge, scholars, and again, so many topics, and reminders. The reminders benefit the believers. So get into the habit at least once a day. Listen to a short, if you can't, like you can't listen to a two hour, one hour class, listen to just 10, 15 minutes, 20 minutes every day. And it's going to make a difference. Uh, a difference also in your own, in your mindset, subhanAllah, your thoughts are influenced by, like there's the input. What are you consuming? Like the content you're consuming, it is going to have an effect on your thought process and your thought having an influence on your actions. So it's going to change you. If you keep listening to reminders, how you get close to Allah, how you perfect your Salah, the life of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, the good qualities of the believers, whatever it may be, there are, millions now. So getting into this habit is really nice.

Mifrah Mahroof:

Yeah, that's true. Okay, awesome. And, where can our listeners find you?

Sofia A.:

So you can find me on Instagram. It's Sofia.coaching. I'm also on LinkedIn. If you get my Instagram, just go on the links in bio, you have everything. And the podcast is on Spotify, Apple podcasts, and YouTube. It's Women of Ihsan. Subscribe and share and comment. And yeah,

Mifrah Mahroof:

Awesome. Sofia, thank you so much for coming on.

Sofia A.:

thank you so much. It was an honor to be here. Thank you so much.

Mifrah:

Hey everyone. That wraps up another episode from the Muslim Life Hackers podcast. I really hope you enjoyed our chat today. I've got some great takeaways. if you like what you heard and don't want to miss out on our next conversations, hit that subscribe button on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to this from. It means a lot to us, and it helps us reach more people who can benefit from this show. Thank you again for tuning in. Until next time, keep striving and getting better every day.

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Mifrah Mahroof

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